JOKES , ANIMATIONS AND LOTS OF LAUGHTER,

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This topic contains 248 replies, has 14 voices, and was last updated by Jo Ann Jo Ann 3 days, 22 hours ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 196 through 210 (of 249 total)
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  • #5108042 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

    One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!”

     

     


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    #5108052 Report Abuse

    mememouse
    Participant

    LOL Good one , Puff,,



    #5108056 Report Abuse

    oldcoots
    Participant

    Oh Meme you got new jeans, how cute !


    #5108060 Report Abuse

    mememouse
    Participant

    DOT   hehehee


    #5108574 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

    3 men were going on a hike through the desert there was an paddy Englishman, a paddy Scotchman and paddy Irishman they agreed to come back an hour later with some supplies … a hour went by so they all came back to that spot and the English boy says well its going to get hot so i got us some water. the Scottish boy says well were going to get hungry in the desert so i got us some food. they both looked at the Irish boy and said why do you have a car door? so the Irish boy says well its going to get really hot so i can wind the window down and let some air in!

     

     


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    #5108752 Report Abuse

    oldcoots
    Participant

    Good ones Meme & Puff    LOL


    #5109109 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

     


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    #5110218 Report Abuse
    theLark_IN_5
    theLark_IN_5
    Participant

    OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet!

    An 85-year-old man was  requested by his  Doctor for a sperm count as  part of his physical. The doctor gave  the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a  semen sample tomorrow.’  The  next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and  gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty  as on the previous day.   The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s  like this — first I tried with my right hand, but  nothing.  Then I tried with my left hand, but still  nothing.  ‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She  tried with her right hand, then with her  left, still nothing.  She tried with her mouth,  first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing. ‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next door  and she tried too, first with  both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried  squeezin’ it between her knees, but still  nothing..’ The doctor was shocked!

    ‘You asked your  neighbour?’
    The old man replied, Ya, none  of  us could get  the jar  open.’


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    • This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by theLark_IN_5 theLark_IN_5.
    #5110720 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

    Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.

    A few days later, as Tony’s walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. “John, what happened?” Tony asks.

    “I have no idea,” John replies. “I was told I have five years of amazing sex to look forward to. The only thing I don’t understand is why she always yells ‘Damn income taxes!’ whenever we have sex.”

     

     


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    #5111176 Report Abuse
    theLark_IN_5
    theLark_IN_5
    Participant



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    #5111827 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

    A firefighter was working on the engine

    outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl

    nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung

    off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the

    middle .
    The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet.
    The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
    The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
    ‘That sure is a nice fire truck,’ the firefighter said with admiration.
    ‘Thanks,’ the girl replied.

    The firefighter looked a little closer.

    The girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar

    and to the cat’s testicles.
    ‘Little partner,’ the firefighter said, ‘I don’t want to tell

    you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that

    rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster. ‘ The little girl
    replied thoughtfully, ‘You’re probably

    right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren. ‘

     

     


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    #5115271 Report Abuse
    theLark_IN_5
    theLark_IN_5
    Participant

    Sunrise Inspiration from BestQuotations.com
    Associate yourself with people of good quality,
    for it is better be alone than in bad company.”Booker T. Washington


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    #5124872 Report Abuse
    CardinalPuff
    CardinalPuff
    Participant

     

     


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    #5126844 Report Abuse
    Lizzie
    Lizzie
    Participant

    ha–these made my day


    #5126845 Report Abuse
    Lizzie
    Lizzie
    Participant

    Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?

    It matches their mustache.


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